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The epidemic of social network places such as Facebook and My Space have created problems for employers as the compulsion of users to spend time poking their friends and telling them what their doing now when the payroll need to me finalised and the deadlines to meet. Now lets face sitting at a computer screen all day processing boring data like watching grass grow and focusing to insure the accuracy at some sort of standard acceptable by the employer. But a good employee set goals for the day on what needs to be achieved and makes a commitment to achieve these goals. This morning I am going to get this done sort of goal. You start the computer wait for windows update to complete then restart windows so you can get the latest virus definition update and restart windows again because there's has been an update to the antivirus that also needs to scan 6 million files before you can log in again. After 20 minutes process your have opened the mail, filed all the work from yesterday, cleaned your monitor, had the first morning coffee and you finally ready to start today's goals. The first thing that happens is a gadget from the task bars says you have mail. You open your mail to find you have 30 emails sent form several department over night that all seem important. The first email says Hi mate did you like the joke I sent you yesterday. The second email informing you that attached is the minutes of the meeting you attended yesterday. With 28 more emails to address your goals for the morning looks to be impossible but you know if you do not achieve this then several people will not get paid.
Achieving the impossible Goals
The impossible tasks then gets hampered by a pop up saying Fred has commented on your photo in Facebook so you just have to know what Fred has said about you so you login to Facebook only to find he has written “Cute kid”. So you type a comment “Thanks” then proceed to logon to the system to start work. You then start entering data and another pop up saying that Wilma has posted on your wall. So you return to your Facebook and see Wilma has written Have a great day. Now that was nice of her so you quickly reply “You to sweetie”. Now back to work and the phone rings. The HR manager Mr Stonehead cannot find his payroll report from last week and ask you do you have copy. You reply that I will get you a copy. So you find you copy you filed last week, Photocopy it and take it to him. By this time more than the 1st hour has passed and you only managed to open the payroll system but have not endeavoured to enter the needed data.
Returning to your desk you begin entering the data and another pop up invades your screen saying Betty has just Poked you. At this point you say I have to get this work done so I am ignoring Betty. you put your head down and bum up and go for it at a rapid pace as you are so far behind in you goal that you think I am never going to get this done. Your mid morning coffee urge is upon you but no time for coffee you keep plugging away so the goal is achieved. Ignoring all emails and phone calls because you had lost so much time this morning. By midday you are almost through and Barney suggests we go to the Bedrock Cafe for lunch. You inform Barney I would love to but I have work to finish so I will be having trouble getting out of here. can you get bring me back a salad.
By the time barney gets back with your salad you are on top of it. You have it beat all the data is entered and the reports are rolling of the printer. You sit at your desk to eat your salad and open your Facebook account and as you scoff down a olive stone you are busily answering all your friends pokes and comments and Mr Stonehead walks behind you and see your on Facebook. He remarks that haven't you got better things to be doing.
Well the obvious answer is to explain in anger what sort of a morning you had and I now finally now have the chance to satisfy my midday cravings and catch up on some friends. No you gracefully close Facebook and continue with your salad feeling guilty about his comments.
The Ban on Facebook
Later in the afternoon things settle down and you decide again to check out Facebook only to find that you cannot log into the site. You ring tech support and say you cannot access the internet. After considerable dialog you finally admit that its Facebook giving you the trouble to be informed that social network sites have been blocked an the request of Mr Stonehead. The guilt set in as it was just an hour ago when Mr Stonehead had commented on my use of Facebook. I then dig out my iPhone and announce to all may social network friends what a jerk Mrs Stonehead is because he banned my Facebook.
Job offer
Within a hour a network friend send me an email and say why don't you come and work for me as I need some one with your skills. Some one that can use Facebook and build relationships online. Some one that can develop a social network on behalf of our company and build a solid reputation. You are just the person.
Job acceptance.
No you say wow this is a great offer so you open you email and send Mr Stonehead an email
to:Mr Stonehead
From: Me
Dear Sir
Owing to the fact that I think your a jerk for banning Facebook in the workplace I have accepted a position with your competitor Stone Hedge Corporation as a network marketer. My role will be to build a social network for the company to help gain market share and acceptance of there new product range. The 33000 of your customers I have on my Facebook will find this new product range very exciting and will see the benefits of the instant support and help they will gain directly from there Facebook account.
I understand that you feel that it is a waste of time and that loosing 33,000 customers to Stone Hedge Corporation is not a big issue because your priority today is your payroll report are on your desk in time.
Thank you
Me
Reaction
Mr Stonehead is stunned. He no 1 employee would do such a thing. He quickly organises you to be removed from the office and demand that you remove you Facebook account and makes out rages claims that you will not succeeds. He scoff at the fact that you cannot gain a market share through that rubbish and people on Facebook are losers.
Success
After your first week in the position you established 6000 new accounts for Stone Hedge Corporation and increase your social network to now 40,000 members. You creditability on line has increase and people are seeking you out about the solutions to their problems. Mr Stonehead however is shrinking by the day and is called to the board room to explain the slump in sales.
What happened here?
What happened is Mr Stonehead failed to identify the value of social networking in the workplace. If he did he would have been excited to know that you had 33000 network friends and that you had a high degree of social networks skill. The arrogance failed him and his policy and lack of understanding that this is the future for the success of the business.
Questions
Should have Mr Stonehead embraced you as a guru and capitalises on your skill?
Is it possible to have achieve 6000 new accounts in a week with a social network account?
What product range or industry could this relate to?
I am keen to read your comments.
Cited
